I am utterly disgusted with myself. I realised that I have been such a whiner, and that I did nothing else, but eat and then complain about how pathetic my life is.
I had enough of this, I want to get up, and move on from all this bullshit, I am still young anyway. I'm freaking 18. Why do I care if I can't find love and end up alone. It's really disgusting, I should cut myself some slack and enjoy life. If it comes, it comes, if it doesn't, then it is not meant to be. After all, I still have friends, I still have my family, and that's all that ever matters anyway.
Guys come and go. But your best friends and family, will stay throughout.
Also, I have had enough of eating too much unhealthy food, and then complain about how fat I am, as of today, I shall watch my diet, and start exercizing again. Today I've managed to do a mixture of jogging/sprinting/brisk walking for 4.4km, and I must say that my stamina is utter shit right now, I really need to start all over again, and slowly build up. I guess, I have forgotten the pain I went though just to lose weight last time. Today was a definite wake up call for me. This shall be my lifestyle now. Health and fitness for the win.
I'm gonna work on my life, look good, feel good, get a good career and be happy. Boys are honestly gonna be at the bottom of my agenda. I'm done waiting, being treated like an option, and only talked to when you want a companion or when you are free. No, that's not the way you should treat me. I am not there for your entertainment. I have been nothing but understanding to you. And I realised that this is a dead end for us. I wished nothing but the best for you. I know you're a very ambitious guy, and I am prolly at the bottom of your list of priorities, or maybe I am not even in it, but that's okay. We both shall move on. I don't want to hold you back. Have a nice life.

unfold the chapters March 2005 April 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 November 2006 April 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 January 2014 July 2014 September 2014