And I will try.. To fix you.

01 May 2012 // 3:20 PM
♣ One more chance

Today is my uncle's 61st birthday. I feel really rotten over the fact that I can't even afford to get him anything nice, because I can't afford it. Also, I feel really shitty, that he has to work on his birthday, and here I am whining about not having a life because I have school on weekdays and working on weekends. Thinking about how much harder it is for him as compared to me, I feel that I should just stfu. I really wish him a great birthday, and hope that he will continue to celebrate loads and loads more birthdays in the future. Next month will be my mum's 60th birthday.Time really flies.
Anyway, I was just looking at two local celebs engagement pictures. And it is awesomely sweet. I really like seeing people happy, and families come together for such events. But looking at that, it makes me feel sad because I can't offer the same thing. I don't have a huge family, it won't be a merry event, even if I were to invite my family, maybe not everyone will turn up, and the whole thing will prolly be disastrous and really sad. Ever since I was young, I really wanted to be with someone who has a huge family, and I want to be a part of their family. I want to have a big house with many people staying in it. I want to be with someone who loves travelling. (speaking about that one particular guy just popped up on my mind).
But now, all those wishes seemed to just fade away. It's just impossible. I will never be a part of great things. I will just have to be contented with this loneliness. And I have to constantly remind myself that I AM ALONE. There is no one out there whom I can rely on. Absolutely no one. 
I hope that one day,I will be successful. This is just the freaking beginning. Please get me through this trying times. I honestly hope that I can have some form of stability in my life by the time I'm 25.





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