It seems that every time I blog, it's usually when I'm sad.
Honestly, no one actually have seen the real me yet.
If they do, probably none of them will even wanna be my friend, coz I'm just a sad and miserable person. I have too much pent up anger, and sometimes I let it out to anyone who crosses my path at home, mostly happens to my mum.
I'm just mad at myself, for all the things I have done, all the things that I've failed to achieve and for all the things that I said I will never do, but I went back on EVERY SINGLE WORD that I said. And also for not standing up for myself.
Nothing can even make me happy, yeahh, I am stressed out, but it's so crazy that even smoking or drinking won't help me.
What's sad is, if I can't even be happy with my myself, how can I even be happy with someone else? I feel so messed up. I hope that I will learn from all this shit.
But the last straw is when I see how happy someone's life is. Also when people keep telling me about how wonderful/loving/sweet their significant other is. I'm sorry, I just can't listen to that. It feels like someone is ripping a hole in my chest. I don't know what you call it. I guess some people call it jealousy? But I think I'm not jealous.

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