Today, it feels like as if I've been hit real hard. I've realised something, I don't wanna be sad anymore. Yes. I've said it. I'm just 17 for god's sake. Why should I feel sorry for myself. Everyone makes mistakes don't they? Why not turn it around, and make do with what I have? Sometimes, it's not all about me. It's about the people around me as well.
I know that I've fucked up a lot of things, like my o'levels, relationships, friendships, family, basically almost everything. I can choose to sit around crying all day and complain about how pathetic my life is, or I could accept it,and move on. Which I obviously, decided on the second option.
And if I'm sad because of a boy, thinking that my happiness lies on his hands, I couldn't be more wrong. I wanna wipe off that mentality COMPLETELY. Happiness don't lie on others, it lies from within, if I can't be happy alone, I can't be happy with others also. But that doesn't mean I completely don't need anyone by my side. It's just that I'm DONE relying on people. I'm gonna make myself happy, and share it with someone(if the someone ever comes, but till then..)I will just continue living my life.
I don't wanna confuse myself. Most times I think that I'm in love, when actually, it was just an infatuation. I end up dwelling over it, and hurting myself in the process. I don't wanna search for love. I don't wanna find someone just because I'm lonely, that's unfair.
Also, I don't want to feel depressed whenever I see that other people's lives are better than mine. I'm gonna use them as my inspiration and work towards that instead.
Not just that, I'm done trying to please all those around me. From now onwards, I'm just gonna be me. I will try to be as honest as possible about everything, BUT with limits. I'm not gonna be a bitch and end up hurting myself instead.

p.s Obviously there will still be days when I'm not completely happy,when people try to bring me down with their words or even the various setbacks along the way. But I will try with all my heart, to get up again. To be a stronger person than before.
All I want right now, more than anything is to be happy. Please, give me the strength.

p.p.s Look out for more happier posts in the future <3

XOXO.

unfold the chapters March 2005 April 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 November 2006 April 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 January 2014 July 2014 September 2014