19 June 2011 // 9:10 PM
♣ Unanswered.
This past whole week has rather been a blur. I don't know what I want anymore.
After the attachment, I've been questioning myself a lot, is being a nurse really what I wanna do in life?
It's not exactly a bad experience or anything, but is it really my passion?
I'm sure even the staff nurse doubted my interest. When she wrote the comments, she didn't mention anything about me being keen in nursing, unlike what she commented on the others.
I chose nursing in the first place was partly because I believe that it is a stable job, and I've always liked dealing with people. Not to mention that it's also a very hands-on job.
But after listening to what all those nurses said, I really don't know.
Firstly, I gotta have passion for the job, as for some, their passion started to wear off after sometime, and the only reason they didn't change jobs is because they're used to what they are doing.I don't want to be STUCK in something I might regret doing.
I don't want to do things half-way again. What if I wake up one day and realised I've wasted my life? I'm really envious of those who had their whole life all planned out
What if after this 3 years, I still don't know what I want, I will be damned. I hate being aimless. Especially when this concerns my future. I have big dreams, but seems like it's not going anywhere. I feel like running somewhere far away and do some soul-searching.
Today is fathers' day. Honestly, I've never believed in fathers' day. Never had a fatherly figure. And to those out there who kept on insisting that I should wish my dad/ talk to him/ start a topic. Blah blah blah. Please, just stop.
How can I talk to someone who was never there? What is there for me to say? Really.
Let me tell you this, you have no idea. You will never ever understand.
On this day, I only have one wish, I don't ever want my child to be in this situation.
If I ever have one that is.
It's really not a nice feeling being invisible.
